TED vs. Ted - A Limerick

While Ted leaves his chair to make speeches
In a move that some say over-reaches
A different TED
Doesn't care what was said
TED's practice inverts what Ted preaches

More about Ted's action.
More about TED's action.

Prayer for my Adventist Dinner

Now I sit me down to eat
Jesus bless my veggie meat
If some pork slips in my ration
Help me fight my baser passion
AMEN

Keeping Sabbath Holy

Friday back when I was young
Was preparation day
We vacuumed, mopped and dusted things
Our toys were put away
By sundown Mom had finished with
Her pan of ravioli
She wouldn't bake on Saturday
To keep the Sabbath holy

On Fridays now that I am grown
"Prepare" has changed in meaning
Felipe comes and mows our lawn
Conchita does the cleaning
And after church we know a place
That serves great guacamole
With help from strangers in our gates
We still keep Sabbath holy

An Adventist Joke

An Adventist joke that didn't get far:
"Uriah and Ellen walk into a bar..."